Being Second

A human exercise.

Do you put yourself first?

If so, don’t be alarmed. We all do. It comes naturally to us and it’s been hardwired into our monkey brains to protect us. And that’s okay! We often need to be self-absorbed and perhaps even a bit selfish to get our reward. However, this instinct is not only undesirable but self-limiting over the long term, and we need to start asking ourselves a more beautiful question.

What happens when I put myself second?

You may feel lost initially but you will almost immediately sense a welcome lightness. This will happen because you are no longer competing with others for their attention or action nor judging their intentions. Freed from this mental overhead you will listen deeply, share openly and be more present. Isn’t this vulnerability worth the risk?

Be second. This is where the magic is.

And remember, putting yourself second is a voluntary exercise in growth and self-control. It does not require you, at any point, to compromise and act against your own self-interests. So, choose the right people, be with them and do things that trigger this instinct defeating behavior in you. They will inspire and knead you into the best version of yourself.