These statements can help excite any conversation by introducing truth, urgency, vulnerability, agency, and empathy. Try them out.

1. I don't know.

Most people don't say this often enough.

2. How can I help?

Try to be of service to others.

3. What exactly do you need from me?

Specificity is exceptionally rare.

4. Please tell me more.

This may allow you to speak less and listen more.

5. Sorry, I need more time.

As Steinbeck once said, "Nothing good gets away."​ Take the time you need.

6. It's fine. Let's try again.

Be generous with your compassion for others.

7. I'm not the right person to advise you on this.

Practice saying no more frequently. It is a muscle.

8. We are in this together.

No one is an island.

9. No.

A truth.

10. Could you explain this to me?

Ignorance can never withstand the power of a question.

11. I trust you.

This is something we all wish to hear.

12. Sorry, I was wrong.

Own your mistakes, so they hold no power over you.

13. What can go wrong with this?

Knowing your downside is extremely powerful.

14. Could you lead on this?

If you did your job right, you are in a room full of leaders.

15. It's my fault.

It's always your name on the line. This is the only owner's mindset.

This thought was inspired by Ankit Kumar, Diwakar Kaushik, and Jaydeep Wagh. Thanks to Bistra Kumbaroska and Palak Kaur Anand for reviewing drafts of this.

Meeting a stranger is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. So, we must give it its due. Serendipity may have brought us a friend, a customer, a partner, a mentor, or something we cannot comprehend yet. Time will do the rest, but if you find yourself in this fortunate situation, here are a few questions to consider asking.

1. What's the most interesting thing about your life so far?

This establishes you as someone who cares.

2. What do you want to learn next?

What we choose or care to learn about tells a lot about what matters to us.

3. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?

Home isn't always where the heart is. Sometimes you leave it behind on your travels.

4. In a room full of people you love, who would you hug first?

A choice, even one made in abundance, always becomes a test.

5. If you could meet anyone you wanted to whom would you choose? What would you ask them?

Will they stay in this period or inhabit the future or past? Our choices make us.

6. If you could teach me one thing, what would it be?

This shows you are here to listen and hopefully learn from them.

7. What's your superpower?

We're all superheroes but do they know what's their gift yet?

8. What do you think people love and hate about you?

Perception vs. Self-Realization. Subjectivity vs. Objectivity.

9. What's been your biggest failure till now?

Failures are the corpses of our dreams. And if or when we learn lessons from them, we build monuments.

10. What has someone said to you that will stick with you forever?

What we choose to keep is what matters to us.

11. Hard: Are you happy?

If they answer it in a binary, then dig deeper. Happiness never comes in a single shade.

12. Hard: How do or will you measure your life?

OKRs and KPIs exist for everything. But this is when it really matters.

13. Hard: What's something that others value that you don't?

This will tell if they have the courage to be disliked for being different. What we disregard speaks volumes about what we hold dear.

This thought was inspired by Ankit Kumar.  Thanks to Varun Shetty and Rasha Kutty for reviewing drafts of this.

Dear Sartaj,

Congratulations, you made it. Another year has been etched into your bones.

This year has been strange, challenging, and weary, but you should know that your privilege has protected you and your family in ways you cannot immediately comprehend. So many have lost so much this year. You too have joined their ranks recently with the loss of your friend of 11 years - Prince. Even in his passing, he has remained faithful and loving. And this is how you must remember him. It is as Meeraj Faizabadi's couplet prophesied...

It's something else that they have taken him on their shoulders.
At least for some excuse, the lover has returned home.

Your joys have bloomed in a field of miseries. And if you remember, then you will remember everything, so instead, please choose to be gracious. Our blessings multiply when they are shared, so do well by doing good. I told you last year that you could get anything you wanted but not everything you wanted. And indeed, what you chose was given to you. But did you choose well?

If the answer is not a resounding yes, then do not fret because you have another opportunity tomorrow. I still believe in you. Changes like these happen bit by bit, and then all of a sudden. Learn to be patient with yourself and the choices you make. This inner work is never simple or easy, but it is always worthwhile. I hope, whenever we speak, I push you to turn inwards and see yourself. Remember that you are more than the sum of your choices and flaws. There is good in you. I see it often on the days you doubt yourself.

I should leave you?
The shadow should part from the wall?

You could not choose the faces that flashed before your eyes when Tehzeeb Hafi shared this impossibility with you. There were some who have your heart, a few you have forsaken, and the one who caused the Naqba (catastrophe). However, in the end, you remained. This year was transformative precisely because it limited you. Breath became air. It forced a nomad to turn into a homebody. Stillness became normal.

Stillness isn't your superpower yet, but it may be the key to realizing your potential. You must learn to be more patient with yourself and the opportunities that surround you. Nothing good ever gets away. If someone tells you otherwise, walk away. Giving into haste only fans greed and invites mistakes. So, double down on focus, patience, and clarity. But, when you are convinced, turn every ounce of conviction inside you into action. The universe has conspired for you more visibly than ever before, and yet you let self-doubt creep in. Learn to receive a gift with both hands. Lean into these instinctual truths without fear. Do not allow this well of knowledge to be corrupted by your doubts.

This year of doing, growth, and maniacal focus may have fueled your ambition and self-worth, but it also consumed you. Do not neglect or compromise any single part of you to succeed in the short term. This never works. If you are to build a significant life, then you must exercise and rely on all of yourself. Put in the time and effort needed to design and deploy the systems that will power your present and future. I want to help you realize all of your potential. This is a debt you owe to those who raised you and everyone who believed in you.

The trade of lovers is unique.
They forsake profits and share their losses.

Faiz knew love intimately, and so do you. This problematic year has crystallized and magnified all your passions: kindness, belief, creativity, trust, and support. You are joyful, and happiness attracts happiness. Stay this way, Sartaj. It looks beautiful on you. However, I would not be a mirror to you if I did not point to the impending storms. The sun sets on everything eventually. You have known this for quite some time now, but each passing year only pushes you closer to loss and darkness. When the night swallows you whole, you must be prepared to go through it. You will feel a piercing pain with every breath, but I know you will survive because you have walked through hell already. Whenever you encounter this period of loss, I hope you will share it with others with grace and affection, so it does not wear you down. Please remember to be kind then.

Be everything all at once, Sartaj. You are infinite.

All my love,
Yours.

Dear Sartaj,

How are you doing? I am always with you, and yet we seem to have lost touch this year. I understand that there are always things to do, places to go to, opportunities to seize, dreams to realize, and fires to fight, but it's almost as if you have been avoiding me... When and how did we grow so far apart?

From a distance, you seem happier this year and remind me of a younger Sartaj, one surer of himself and his place in the world. Is this true? Are you really happy, or have you just occupied yourself with urgency to avoid dealing with what's important? I ask because I still care about you. I am not a stranger to you, Sartaj, but this year has made me feel like one. You are both wise and jaded enough to know the difference between acts of self-love and distractions offering temporary happiness. And yet you have consistently fallen into the trappings of comfort this year.

If I sound disappointed in you, then it is because I am. When we last met, you had sparkling eyes, reality-defying ambition, and unflinching clarity, but all those distractions have muddied your heart. There is nothing where there was once a garden. What have you felt or learned this year that you will carry into the next decade? Seeing you today reminds me of what Rehana Roohi uttered nearly 20 years ago.

It isn't that he's not a good person.
It's just that he isn't like my dreams.

In my dreams, you are remarkable, Sartaj. Please do not allow life to get the better of you. There are things only you can do, so you must do them. It is rare to have the ability and opportunity to build a significant life, so please make the most of it. Giving in to the everyday pressures of mediocrity and smallness won't get you to where you need to be. So, remember to dare often and greatly. There are several of us who adore you and will help you realize all of you, but you must show up, and you must be seen.

I know this gnawing feeling of unfulfillment is something you've been grappling with for a while now, and you are prepared to completely retool your life and work. It took you 30 years to get to this point and know exactly who you are, so don't resent the journey. The secret to leading a worthwhile life is to make a few meaningful and thoughtful decisions every day and let go of the rest. As you learn to detach yourself from this web, you will come to realize your insignificance. All of this existed before you were born and will continue to thrive long after your departure. So, optimize your time here for that which has the potential to outlive you - an institution, a family, and a legacy.

You dedicated the previous decade to experimentation and self-discovery, but these next few decades will require you to share your gifts in the service of others. This is why you must focus on your family and leave behind a legacy of good. If you wish to succeed in this next phase of your life, you will need to grow your tribe and become bolder, clearer, and less self-apologetic. Others have often mistaken your kindness for weakness or indecisiveness, so ensure this never happens again. There is no need to tolerate their ignorance or accommodate your anxieties, so reform yourself.

That which is wrong, I have come to make right.
I have come to repay the debt of others.

This couplet reached your heart when you were naming all the wrongs in your life, and the weight of their consequences was pressing down on you. Breathe. Do not forget that this life of yours, first and foremost, belongs to you. You have power over it and can undo these wrongs.

When you were born, the first debt you inherited was your privilege. Then came the burden of expectations placed on you. This was soon followed by the power others yielded over you. And the final debt is one which grows with each passing day -  time. You often wonder about your purpose here but have you considered that perhaps it is to simply walk this earth with joy? If you can say no to anything which doesn't inspire happiness or peace in you, then you are free from all debts. So, are you free, Sartaj? Remember that you can get anything you want but not everything you want.

What choices will then lead you to your best life?

You have already learned through your tragedies that humans are transient beings. We all come and go bringing varying measures of joy, pain, longing, and wisdom into the lives of others. This is the natural order of things akin to the ebb and flow of the sea. This is also why you must rebuild your circle from scratch for this brave new decade. It will shape your entire life, so do this with care. In all this change, happiness then lies in the constant. Isn't home still wherever you see your mother's eyes, Sartaj? Your everyday rituals celebrated with your tribe are what lend comfort, meaning, and familiarity to your life. A prophet is never fully understood by his people, but their belief in him remains unshakeable. This will never change.

If I were to tell the truth, then your love made me pay attention to myself. When you would kiss me, I would go home and look long in the mirror.

I see you in the mirror every day and wonder about the love that will make you feel this way once again. The Naqba (catastrophe) will complete its third year next February, and as its memories linger and fade inside you, I need you to regain control of your heart. I know you have never craved validation from others but when you love someone deeply, they become an extension of yourself. Their attention on you translates into boundless self-affection and wonder. You were made to love and be loved, and yet on most days you seem to believe that you are incapable or undeserving of it. Where there were wounds once, now there are scars. But all your scars will be loved. I promise.

What do you see when you look at your reflection?

I hope you can see everything worthy of love in you. I see this every day, and it makes me believe in the best of you. I will always believe in you.

All my love,
Yours.

Kashmir has been an irreconcilable issue for India & Pakistan since 1947. However, on August 6, 2019, President Ram Nath Kovind announced the abrogation of Article 370 from the Indian constitution. The move was both historic and alarming, and this developing piece hopes to make sense of things.

Maharaja Hari Singh signed the Instrument of Accession on October 26, 1947, making Kashmir an integral part of India. However, defense, external affairs, and communications were the only domains handed over to India. Over time, other legal documents, such as Article 370 (1950) and Article 35A (1954), were introduced to build bridges to India and irrefutably safeguard Kashmiri autonomy.

Article 370 was particularly significant since it required the Government of India to secure the concurrence of the Jammu and Kashmir government on a whole host of affairs. And although it was originally designed to be a temporary provision, the decades of existence and dissolution of the state's constituent assembly in 1957 have paved the way for its permanence. In fact, the Supreme Court of India reiterated its opinion on Article 370's permanent status as recently as last year. However, Narendra Modi and Amit Shah have attempted to legally engineer this abrogation using a three-pronged combination of the President's rule in Kashmir, BJP's majority in parliament, and the insertion of a new sub-clause (4)(d) in Article 367, the interpretative section of the constitution. The Supreme Court has repeatedly upheld the doctrine of colorable legislation i.e. you cannot do indirectly what you cannot do directly. And there are four good reasons it may prove to be indefensible.

Although Modi's move to tightly integrate Kashmir into India has met with widespread approval, the way it's being realized - state lockdown, communication blackout, 500+ political arrests, deployment of 45000+ troops - reminds me of Indira Gandhi's "emergency" in the 1970s. All of us in India need to be made aware that our government has suspended internet services in Jammu and Kashmir 53 times in 2019 alone. In fact, India has recorded more internet shutdowns from January 2016 to June 2018 than Pakistan, Iraq, Syria, Ethiopia, and Iran combined.

These photos of Srinagar highlight the brutal reality being faced in Kashmir while the rest of India continues to have a conversation about them and their future. If you want to see what's really happening, please follow bravehearts like Sheikh Saaliq, Azaan Javaid, and Ahmer Khan.

The abrogation, loss of statehood, and subsequent bifurcation of Jammu and Kashmir and Ladakh required the complicit approval of several prominent diplomats and civil servants such as President Kovind, Satyapal Malik (Jammu and Kashmir Governor), Ajit Doval (National Security Advisor), Arvind Kumar (Director of the Intelligence Bureau) and Samant Goel (Chief of the Research and Analysis Wing).

"We will die, but we will not let this happen."

Kashmiris have plunged into mourning their loss and view this attack on their autonomy as a complete violation of their pact of accession to India. And I am afraid we will now be viewed as occupiers. Our continued inability to deliver socio-economic development in Kashmir, introduce gradual political and legal reforms, offer plebiscite and contain Pakistan's terrorism are reasons for India's lack of legitimacy over Jammu and Kashmir despite having honored Article 370 for 69 years. Modi's preferred tactic of strong-arming policy has failed to produce results in the past and will not work with Kashmir either. As Adnan Ashraf Mir rightly said, "I'm certain that Kashmiris will erupt," and once curfew is relaxed, we will face it.

This unilateral decision has pushed India away from entire generations of Kashmiris and only encourages separatism and isolationism in the region. The pro-India mainstream political narrative in Jammu and Kashmir is dead, and public demonstrations are already starting to bubble up. There is currently a massive vacuum in political discourse, and the absence of democratic narratives allows more radical voices to enter the mainstream.

Modi's belief in the abrogation of Article 370 being Kashmir's silver bullet is based on several biases or reasons:

1. It's the bedrock of dynastic politics in the state.
2. It has blocked the rollout of development programs and policies.
3. It has allowed corruption to thrive.
4. It has prevented direct governance and integration by the central administration in Delhi.
5. It has preserved and encouraged demographic homogeneity in Kashmir.
6. It has effectively blocked large-scale private-sector investments from the rest of India.

However, this is only one possible narrative, and Shahid Iqbal Choudhary, Deputy Commissioner of Srinagar, provides another: "It is utterly wrong and unjust to blame Article 370 for every minor or major shortfall faced by J&K state in the path of development." The complete lack of consultation with Kashmir's polity before tabling the reorganization bill speaks volumes about Modi's conviction that this problem could not be solved democratically (passing a constitutional amendment with a two-thirds majority) nor by building public consensus. The reorganization and bifurcation of Jammu and Kashmir into 2 Union Territories is significant since it exposed deep-seated anti-federalism and communalism. In his nationwide address on August 9, Modi shared that Buddhist-majority Ladakh would remain a Union Territory without legislature even after normalcy returned.

Modi has anxiously demonstrated political boldness in the past by trying to tackle any or all problems. Although the potential rewards are material, the brashness of his decision-making leaves much to be desired. India is unlike China or Russia and yet has begun to behave all too familiarly. Multilateral institutions and foreign governments may view this latest power grab as "India's internal matter," but it decidedly weakens the rule of law locally. Until justice arrives, Jammu and Kashmir will remain in flux and perhaps experience mass inbound migration furthering forced integration. However, Modi's decision to accelerate the integration of Kashmir should not be viewed as a panacea since it refuses to acknowledge that "the nature of the insurgency has shifted and become more locally driven in recent years."

I am choosing not to be silent because, as Suchitra Vijayan said, "Silence in the face of fascism is treason." If you believe in India, then #StandWithKashmir and demand communication to be restored today so Kashmiri voices can be heard. We need to listen long and hard, not act.

The first thing I had to grapple with as a founder was to become the default solution provider. Asking for help and experiencing growing pains is difficult in any new organization, but this challenge is exacerbated in startups where others keep looking up to the founders. No one is born a leader. I am still growing into that role, but the one truth I've learned from building egomonk is that pain is a recurring emotion in life and work. So, here are a few musings for founders to manage pain effectively during their journey.

Almost all pain stems from unmet expectations. This could be poor traction, weak growth, layoffs, down rounds, or something else. So, learn to reframe pain as an opportunity to pause and reset. Pain destroys all existing momentum and instead creates future opportunity. Pain is a lagging indicator of the arrival of an environment where the fears of founders have been realized. At best, we were blindsided by these changes. At worst, we lacked foresight and conviction. Regardless we must learn to forgive ourselves quickly and move forward. If we don't, pain can quickly push founders into decision paralysis and their startups into a death spiral. Startups are supposed to move fast and break things, but they're still naturally subject to the same rules of inertia limiting mature businesses.

Founders aren't usually afraid of being wrong or making changes but of the socioeconomic pain attached to failure. Their tolerance is primarily dependent on their worldview, privilege, and conditioning. Founders must recognize what they actually fear, so its power over them is limited. At work, pain usually means a low probability or undesirable scenario is playing out. This will pass, and founders can still alter the situation through their agency. Unfortunately, this isn't the case with personal tragedy, so we must learn to process our grief and recognize our limitations.

Pain is an exponential emotion. It diminishes greatly when we share it with others. Managing pain effectively in a high-stress startup environment is predicated on building the right support team at work and home. Founders must surround themselves with people who are willing to share their pain. In the near term, some founders may be motivated to extend organizational longevity by mastering avoidance instead of becoming resilient to pain. However, I encourage founders to give in to this momentary pain and work through it. Avoidance only compounds the underlying problems over the long term.

When I started out, I didn't know where to look but over the years encountered several wonderful humans like James Clear, Naval Ravikant, Sam Altman, Vala Afshar, and Shane Parrish! Thanks to these gentle giants for informing my worldview and bringing tremendous mental clarity to my life.

As I get older, I am trying to be more mindful of the luck I've encountered and the privilege I've acquired over time. I know I was able to access opportunities and punch way above my weight because others saw something in me before I did.

Cory Booker once said, "You need to understand who you are now: you're the physical manifestation of a conspiracy of love - people whose names you don't even know who struggled for you, sweated for you."

All of us have the option to lean into this best version of ourselves that is being actively conspired by others. Think of whom you might become if you don't allow self-doubt to creep in and limit you. This is the person your parents, teachers, peers, and leaders see every single day. I've noticed it is easier to be kind to others than ourselves. So I employ self-distancing techniques (addressing myself in the second person, writing letters to myself, developing contrarian positions on closely held beliefs, etc.) every day to try and overcome my biases.

I hope everything nudges you to realize and accept the best version of yourself. If you want to accelerate this process, provide an asymmetric opportunity to someone who deserves it. It could be a meeting, job offer, pay raise, investment, or anything else you see fit. Why? Because someone else in power earlier had about just as little incentive to push your life ahead but instead chose to place a bet on you. All good things are born from this cycle of paying it forward, and I wonder what good you will make today.

"What is the ultimate goal of your life?"

This is how she decided to break the ice on their first date. She knew what she wanted and didn't have time to waste. The twenty-five-year-old man sitting opposite her lost his composure for a bit. It was obvious this question hadn't been on the list he had expectedly prepared for. He was probably wondering why she hadn't asked him if he liked dogs instead...

"Don't you know?"

"I do. I want to be Tony Stark."

He hoped the Iron Man billionaire and his nervous laughter would save him from this quarter-life crisis, but she wasn't having any of it.

"Tell me. What do you really want from this life? I want to know."

He took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to reply with some sincerity, "I want to make a difference here. I want to get as many people as possible over the poverty line so they can get their shot at life."

She smiled, and her eyes turned soft. She felt they had made some progress and gone from idle banter to understanding. As if on cue, Jason Mraz's "I'm yours" started to play in the cafe, and he asked her if she liked this song. She nodded, and just like that, a moment was born. Their conversation continued as the humdrum of the coffee shop took over. I finished my coffee and was about to leave when I heard her ask, "Do you want kids?"

Sometimes we wait all our lives for strangers to ask us questions so we can then finally answer them for ourselves. And I wonder what they decided to make together.

Screen addiction is a very real thing in today’s digital world, where apps are constantly trying to prey on our time. Technology companies have long viewed everything, especially humans, as datasets to learn and exploit, so it’s natural that we have been reduced to a commodity in the attention economy.

The products and services we routinely consume are free because we are willing to give up ever-larger amounts of our time to them. The growing volume of research correlating massive loss of productivity, increasing Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), and inadequate social development, with psychologically weaponized apps was enough to both sufficiently worry and convince me to stay away from screens. This is exactly what I did last weekend to hyperfocus on my work at egomonk, and here’s what I learned.

1. Waking up without notifications

I don’t exaggerate when I say this no-alarm Sunday was a godsend luxury because I woke up well-rested from the complete lack of notification-induced interruptions at night. The long-term effects of sleep disruption include high blood pressure, anxiety disorder, and type 2 diabetes, so making our bedrooms a device-free zone is essential to our well-being!

2. Freedom from the feeds

The default morning behavior for most millennials and digital natives is to clear the backlog of notifications. This involves cycling through my core set of applications i.e. Facebook, Twitter, and email. I have found notification zero to be consistently more powerful and desirable than inbox zero because of the built-in social dynamics and hooks. Breaking this routine felt strange to me and made me a bit anxious, which in turn worried me, but I was able to counter the urge to know what was going on in other people’s lives by focusing on mine and not sharing it socially.

3. Consuming analog news: Newspapers still exist

We still get the newspaper delivered to our home, which was a great relief because I hadn’t read one cover-to-cover in more than a year - the last time being a terrible Air India flight with no entertainment options. It was great to trust professionals (reporters, editors, etc.) and the journalistic processes without worrying about fake news, Russia, and everything else. I didn’t like everything I read because it wasn’t personalized to my tastes like my digital feeds are, but I was exposed to a few pieces I wouldn’t have been otherwise. It showed me that when done right, curation still works well and that filter bubbles are a genuine issue on social media. However, I missed my ad blocker because at least 35% of the newspaper was ads. I am happy to report that ads are just as annoying in print as they are digitally, and I am more than willing to pay to eliminate them altogether. Print can learn a thing or two from Spotify or YouTube Red!

4. Long-form content: Books have zero latency

I believed in Amazon and jumped to a Kindle 3 years ago, but I found printed books to be just as vibrant as ever. I’m glad the publishing industry is one of the few that’s putting up a fight against Bezos because they’re still so good at what they were designed to do: provide information in a clear, well-laid-out manner with zero latency and screen refreshes (something I hope Amazon will fix this decade). However, I did miss the unlimited selection of my Kindle library, and its stellar recommendation engine compared to my physical library and the creepy neighborhood bookstore owner. I spent a few hours reading and was still surprised by how pleasant the analog experience was and how much I could consume when freed from distractions.

5. The world is still broken

Software deserves credit for accelerating the organization of the offline world. I experienced this technophilia first-hand when trying to hail an auto rickshaw on the streets versus calling an Uber or Ola. Tuktuk drivers are an arrogant lot here in Bangalore, and being refused 15 times felt just as bad as ever. Transportation apps have solved many complex problems like location tracking, mobile navigation, cashless payments, etc., so well that we take them for granted. But I missed their convenience on #NoScreenSunday!

6. Screens are the social norm

When I went to have Sunday brunch by myself, I discovered that I was probably the only one there without a phone. I had nothing else to do, so I started people-watching. However, I quickly found out that looking at people worries them. Now I wasn’t staring or lurking, but my screen-free presence proved overwhelming, and it made me realize that spending time with our phone or tablet has become the only acceptable behavior in social spaces. This isn’t healthy, and I will definitely bring some reading material with me next time!

7. An excess of time

The entire experience was eye-opening and showed me how much time 24 hours really can be when you’re not focused on some ethereal app. I doubled down and conducted another time-tracking experiment last week to discover that I was spending nearly 40 hours a week on social networks. Time moved much, much slower for me without a screen than it did with one, so the difficulty I faced in going screen-free actually demonstrated its necessity.

The best ideas are like viruses. They immediately infect you and spark loops of ideas and questions. This happened today when I read - "... what happens when you bring work that matters to people who care" on Seth's blog.

It made me wonder if organizations and the leaders who lead them are allowed to slow down or even pause to reflect. Do they break away from their busyness and make room to ask themselves difficult questions?

It all starts with asking yourself two fundamental questions: Are we doing the work that matters most? Do we really care about our work? If the answer to either question is not a definitive yes, then we must probe deeper so we can reset.

What does meaningful work look like? Does every day excite or at least inspire us to show up as our best selves? Are we solving problems that require our unique combination of intellect, talents, and resources? Does the process mean as much to us as the outcome?

Businesses thrive when this sense of purpose and clarity successfully cascades throughout the organization. And so, the best use of your time as a leader is to build bridges between the people in the room and their best work yet. Trust me, this way, we all win.

Dear Sartaj,

We meet again. Doesn’t it seem like we spoke just a few weeks ago? Well, it’s been a year already, and I wanted to check in with you. I’ve been seeing you from the sidelines on all those long lonely nights you filled with work, ideas, and then poetry. I spoke with you whenever you needed my counsel, but this week you give yourself at the end of each year is always special.

Thinking with yourself is a gift that has always been well received. And I hope you continue to give yourself whatever it is you are most in need of.

Someone who loved deeply has left us.

Sometime during this year, you said if these words became your eulogy, you would have lived enough and well. This moved me. I know you think deeply about death, what dying does to us, and your time here. Does remembering your fragility help you put things into perspective? We all have the same end, so I wonder what choices you will make to take us there. I hope you hold true to your aspiration of loving deeply. It will require you to confront your suffering and those of others. Do not look away or distract yourself then. This discomfort with feeling pity or acting with compassion can later manifest itself as privilege or hatred. Do not allow this to happen to you.

See where this pain takes you. You will be kinder for it.

What about your heart? Have you been able to rebuild your home?

Nothing can erase the past, but time gives us opportunities to make new happy memories over the old painful ones. It may not always make sense, but this is how life works. It has taken you your entire life to get to know the real you or at least welcome him home unapologetically. This self-love can be challenging at times, but it must be done. I know you wouldn’t give up on others, so please refuse to give up on yourself and trust this process.

But remember, you are a good man and nothing more. Be compassionate with yourself too, and recognize that not everyone who shakes your hand is a well-wisher or friend. Love and friendship are two-way streets, and others must be prepared, just like you, to do whatever it takes to honor them. You cannot go where you need to be with the ghosts of those you loved and those who chose to harm you weighing you down. Learn to let go so you can rest. There is more love waiting for you on the other side.

You have already seen this first-hand in your small efforts to bring joy to your family. This new bridge you are building towards them differs from that of your childhood. It is fully aware of your selfishness, frailty, humanity, and finiteness. Age now lends strength, not weakness, to this bridge. I hope you will continue to do more things that raise their quality of life and open them up to new bias-altering experiences. Yes, we can always learn to be better.

You have regained your strength since we spoke last year, but I have seen you still struggle with your weaknesses too. I hate to bring you bad news, but saying this out loud will help. I promise.

Life is unfair by design. The world is full of people who lie, steal, cheat, harm, exploit and even kill others while leading a good life. It shouldn’t be like this, but it is. I know you wish those who did you wrong were wronged too, so they could feel what you felt, but life isn’t that obvious or just. So please do not hold out for the universe to restore your faith in it. The truth is a few privileged humans have the wealth, power, and ability to intervene and materially affect someone else’s life, but this effort requires destructive intentionality. This is not the person you are nor someone you should aspire to be. Besides, you’ve already begun to realize that forgiveness has more to do with yourself than others. It brings you peace and freedom from attachment. All those dreams and hopes you had pinned on someone else get laid to rest when you forgive them. And this is how you must learn to sever yourself from those who do not deserve you. Only then will something better have an opportunity to enter your life.

The entire world recognizes me.
There isn’t another as lonely as me.

I paused when you first heard this couplet from Ahmad Nadeem Qasmi. It may have been said twenty years ago in Dubai, but it felt like he was talking straight to your soul. If you believe you are a mirror to those around you, then poetry has become a mirror to yourself. It is joyful to see you learning and stretching yourself with the wisdom of hundreds of lovers, mystics, and skeptics. They have all moved and challenged you to become kinder and more reflective. This mindfulness is a worthy pursuit in and of itself, so do not feel guilty. You know words have the ability to outlive us and impact others beyond the conventional limits of space and time. So, please write that book you always wanted to next year. It will probably change your life.

2019 will be a milestone year for you. You turn thirty in April and must learn to love your wrinkles and stray white hairs. I remember you had a plan for life when you were twenty, and not everything you wanted then has been realized. You are still not a billionaire. You do not have your home yet. Life rarely works exactly as we want it to, but that doesn’t mean the past decade has been any less extraordinary. You have become fully aware of both your gifts and your flaws. Be grateful for the clarity they have brought you; it will serve you well your whole life. Take these lessons of your youth and keep pushing onwards. You still have so many new wonderful experiences to look forward to. And I know forty seems too far away on the horizon to discuss now, but time speeds up as we age, so try to be more present and slow things down. Your attention and emotions are your only currency. Who you choose to spend them on is a critically important daily choice, so please make it responsibly. You will thank me for this lesson next year.

On your best days, you are unstoppable, open-minded, loving, wise, and fiercely kind. Stay this way. But know you have many avenues to improve and show up as your best self. Keep asking probing questions that deconstruct your worldview and expose you to truths. And keep trying to detach your sense of self-worth from externalities. Being true to yourself and at peace is an everyday choice you’re making toward internal happiness, so focus on your self-discipline. The alternative is to give in to anger and disappointment. This will only exhaust your limited time and energy. You are better than this.

However, some things are better the more they stay the same, so please keep watching life happen all around you. Your ability to both live with joy and watch it unravel joyfully is special. I don’t know anyone else with this gift so make sure you use it enough. Life has a daunting habit of hurling stones at things that shine. Be unapologetic about your nature and carry on the difficult work. I can’t wait to see where this long road will lead us, my friend.

You will understand my heart bit by bit.
After all, a home is opened to a stranger with delay.

I think this was what we needed to hear the most this year. And it applies as much to ourselves as it does to the strangers we welcome into our lives. You are still making this home. It requires tremendous care and a lifetime. But do not fret about completing it because the right stranger will jump in to help.

Breathe. I believe in you.

All my love,
Yours.

C.S. Lewis once said, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."

Every day from February 17, 2017, the day of my Naqba (catastrophe), has been full of fear, with grief becoming almost muscle memory.

Deceit and pain allowed mistrust to be rooted in a heart once filled with only love and light. And all I could do was to be kind and wait for my joy to return to me. It has. At first, it was just a gentle pull on my lips to make me smile, and then eventually, I felt that familiar tug on my soul.

But grief tells me it's still too soon, that it isn't prepared to leave, that I will make the same mistakes all over again. It wants to stay and reminds me of all my Naqba's lies and accusations: unambition, youth, financial instability, inconstancy.

Grief hopes to delay its displacement by convincing me that I am and always was unworthy of anything significant. In its haste, it forgets that all lies are born from some truth, and I have lived long enough to tell the difference.

Google just demoed Duplex, a powerful upgrade to the Google Assistant, that could potentially revolutionize both our personal productivity as well as the expectations we have of AI in our lives.

In this demo, the bot not only makes an appointment at a salon but also has a complex interaction with someone at a restaurant and is able to showcase human-like dexterity. Google has highlighted that this technology has been in the works for several years now but it is only now that the interactions have reached a sufficient level of fluidity that they believe it’s ready for mass adoption. As Google supercharges and personalizes our Assistants with more and more artificial intelligence here are a few things to ponder -

1. How far behind is Siri now? The ball is in Apple’s court and it needs to prove that it can still compete with Google and Amazon on this front. Facebook and Microsoft seem to be largely irrelevant in this conversation and Cortana’s recent integration with Alexa sounds like public submission.

2. As our virtual assistants become more adept at managing different aspects of our life I wonder what we will we choose to do with the time savings that result? I suspect the vast majority of us will invest it into binging on YouTube or Netflix.

3. A large chunk of routine and procedural communication (say with customer care executives at banks or telecom operators) is at risk of being automated. These conversations will no longer involve humans and instead be bot-to-bot based on our personal instructions. The security and privacy consequences of such interactions will have far-reaching consequences and Google must proactively develop and propose policies to safeguard its users.

4. Google is seriously committed to indexing all the world’s information and voice is just another frontier. Mixed Reality and the Internet of Things already allow the indexation of the visual and physical mediums. Biological and genetic systems will be the most likely next target as Alphabet companies are aggressively exploring opportunities in health, longevity, and nutrition. What’s after that?

5. Businesses will in the near future face a choice to route voice support either via Google or Amazon Web Services. At this point, Google seems to be winning with its comprehensive analytics and knowledge graph which will produce a trove of insights for businesses to gain efficiencies. This is where Google’s next few billions will come from.

Virtual assistants will gain swift adoption in the next few years and as we transition from our phones to our smartwatches and eventually settle on mixed reality devices the medium of interaction will also shift from voice to vision and intent. These devices and smart assistants are already being piloted in professional environments to accelerate creativity and productivity. Such developments will lead an efficiency jump as pronounced as the last industrial revolution.

1. India is a must-win market for Jeff Bezos after China. He will never give it up.

2. Antitrust risks could have been mitigated. Furthermore, Walmart’s integrity in India has already been tainted with well-documented bribery.

3. Flipkart investors would have gotten a juicy chunk of Amazon stock as part of the deal and consequently long-term upside in perhaps earth’s most valuable company.

4. Amazon’s hardware stack consisting of devices such as Kindle, Echo, drones, etc. is a giant killer and completely missing from Walmart’s arsenal. This coupled with Prime will be a hard act to beat in India.

5. The Flipkart and Amazon combination was the only one that could have posed a formidable challenge to Alibaba, Paytm and the other Chinese giants.

6. Walmart’s offline presence in India is limited to only 21 Best Price Modern Wholesale stores and thus isn’t developed enough to not be replicated by Amazon through acquisition or investment. Amazon already owns 5% of Shoppers Stop and it may double down on this in the future.

7. Masa and SoftBank preferred Amazon. The other stakeholders should have listened to Masayoshi Son!

8. Amazon’s M&A strategy has evolved to allow acquired brands to remain independent in both their operations and culture. Great recent examples of these include Souq in the MENA region and Whole Foods Market in the US.

9. Amazon vs. Walmart+Flipkart in India will now lead to tons of capital wastage and my bet is that it will play out exactly like it has in the US with added competition from the Chinese giants. They do not want to lose out on the digital growth wave of the next decade which is precisely why so much of India’s startup capital has been shored up by the Chinese big four - Tencent, Alibaba, Baidu, and JD.

10. Amazon could have preserved the startup mindset at Flipkart way better than Walmart.

I chose to celebrate my birthday in London this year with myself. And although I was occasionally surrounded by a few friends and kind strangers, my heart was filled with love and light from so many dear souls all over the world. I am grateful for the joy and peace all of you wish for me and though 2017 was the worst year of my life I am glad to still be alive and have the opportunities I do.

I have always prided myself on my radical optimism and indomitable spirit but last year shook my core. And I had to put in the long and difficult work of rebuilding myself from the ground up. I really wish I didn’t have to learn about love, trust and self-worth in the manner I did but through my heartbreak, I have grown kinder and more resilient.

I am far from done and a work in progress, at best, but hopefully by the time I am finished, my life would have stood for something and I would have proved to be of service to others. If and when there is a measure of my life and its worth, I wish to have given enough of myself away that my gifts would outlive me.