The Anatomy of a Genuine Apology

What does it take?

When was the last time you apologized to someone? Did you mean it or was it just out of habit? Were you able to see how you hurt someone else? Was it difficult to utter? Did it move your soul?

True apologies are rare. They’re difficult to formulate and even harder to deliver. They come from our darkest parts; places we are not even proud to call us. Perhaps this is why they get stuck as lumps in our chests and the back of our throats. Their words seem foreign to us as we struggle to speak them aloud and will them into existence.

Apologies are important. They either become milestones as we fix our flaws or millstones holding us back from our better selves. Unfortunately, we often never receive the apologies we deserve ourselves and so pass on this burden to others we love and harm. The only way we can escape this cycle is by getting better at this. When we are able to identify and understand what we did as wrong; when we are able to feel regret for the pain we have caused; when we are able to communicate our sorrow; when we are able to do whatever is possible and necessary to improve the situation we find ourselves in; this is when our apologies are realized.